Guide is a minor character in Crystal Story II. It is a robot created by Mari. It can tell jokes and can also rename the party if you like. It appears only in the Tavern of Port Breeze.

Guide appears in Crystal Story: The Hero and The Evil Witch as a sidequest NPC. It first appears in Hidden Shrine being trapped with two chests behind a metal door. After Tristam connects the Statue Piece and frees it, it thanks him and give Tristam the Batteries, which are needed for another hidden quests.

Guide reappears in the Labyrinth of Flames to analyze the fishes the strive in the lava. It gives Tristam the Golden Fishes.

Guide's backstory may or may not retconned to be related to Mari's tinkering skills.

List of Jokes[edit | edit source]

  • "Why didn't the cows go to work today? Because the steaks are too high."
  • "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the long face?' The horse replied, 'Because I am a horse.'"
  • "What did the sun say to the moon? 'I'll see you tomorrow.'"
  • "Why did Mari come to the party? Because there was food."
  • "What is the capital of Crystalia? C."
  • "How do you know if a programmer planted a tree? The tree is upside down."
  • "What did the Sailor say when he saw a giant spider? 'Ahhh! A giant spider!'"
  • "0110100101101110011100110110010101110010011101000010000001101010011011110110101101100101"
    • This binary joke translates to "insert joke here".
  • "Protoss."
  • "Error 404: Joke not found!"

Gallery[edit | edit source]

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